http://community.livejournal.com/snarryficfind/1425752.html

*smacks head*

Good news: Starfighter has been updated!

Bad news: I FORGOT ABOUT IT WHEN YULETIDE NOMS CAME AROUND. And it didn't make the list from anyone else either. Arrrgh.

Mood Swings: *facepalm*

http://community.livejournal.com/snarryficfind/1425515.html

Any fics goods fics you can recommend where Harry wakes up in an Alternate Universe or the future and finds his other self was in some kind of relationship with Snape? This relationship can range from just about anything.

Thank you in advance!

http://community.livejournal.com/snarryficfind/1425286.html

MY POST IS NSFW.

But first, a Word Count update! \o/





And now, because you've all been indulging me lately, a tasty snippet.


"Malfoy…Draco? Your cock it's…" Harry smirked, swiping his thumb over the wet head. Malfoy's hips jerked beneath him. "It's crying. It's crying tears of sperm."

A pillow smacked him in the face, and Harry fell over laughing.

"I abhor you, Potter," Malfoy grunted into the mattress.

Harry only laughed harder.


Now, to cut this or not to cut this. That is the question.

octopon - Pirates of DarkWater fandom asylum. Completed!

gotham_gazetteCompleted!</i>

vagrant_story - Vagrant Story fandom asylum. WIP; will be deleted unless more interest is shown.

And,

Please feel free to join commedia; a personal project of mine, aiming to review and analyze comics (and other selected media) that feature DC Comics' The Joker.

It is currently a WIP because I am still going through my 500+ hardcopy!issues collection. I do not download torrents/scans.

I'd like to point out that currently I have two polls up for debate, as can be seen here explaining two routes the asylum's project can take. IE: spoiler free reviews, spoilerific reviews, and whatnot. =) Otherwise, the FAQ and The Rules are already up. The tags/memory post is still a WIP.

I am also open to affiliating with other comic book and/or Batman related asylums, except for RPGs.

Mood Swings: full

Title: Full Moon
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Summary: Severus is never shy to give his opinion, and neither is Harry.
Word Count: 100
Genre: Humor
Warnings: Er, humor. *g*
A/N: Written for veridian_dair, who yet again managed to successfully guess which fic was mine in the snarry_ldws week 7 competition. Also, please to be excusing the lame title.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

Full Moon

Mood Swings: amused

Title: Full Moon
Author: alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter
Summary: Severus is never shy to give his opinion, and neither is Harry.
Word Count: 100
Genre: Humor
Warnings: Er, humor. *g*
A/N: Written for veridian_dair, who yet again managed to successfully guess which fic was mine in the snarry_ldws week 7 competition. Also, please to be excusing the lame title.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Full Moon )

Mood Swings: amused

So, I put up my first post to daily_deviant. For something I wrote quickly (having been obsessed with A Confusion of Will and Desire for the last two months), I'm pretty happy with it, except for the title, which is lame.

Title: Lost and Held
Characters: Sirius, Peter
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Castration, sex, cross-dressing, manipulation
Themes/kinks chosen: Eunuchs/Castrati, Costumes
Word Count: ~5,300
Summary: An accident gives Sirius and Peter a shared secret
Author's notes: November prompts included the theme "eunuchs/castrati". It's listed in the tags as "castration", which would have been a rather different story. I have been as accurate as possible with the theme, but do not guarantee all details are correct. ;-) Thanks to Clauclauclaudia for very short-notice beta work.

Link to post

This one was odd to work on. The themes for November were clamps, costumes, eunuchs/castrati, and symphorophilia (arousal by watching or causing destruction and/or death). "Costumes" didn't really seem like enough to me, and I hate clamps so much that it's hard for me to write about them. Symphorophilia would be easy ... but I wasn't in the mood for something that dark. So I wrote castration because I didn't want to write darkfic. Um....

Researching physiological details was truly weird. I found support services for castrated men, historical notes on castrati, and quite a lot about self-castration, either for practical reasons or as a one-use-only fetish. o_0

Writing Sirius/Peter was also weird. I'm generally a Sirius/Remus person.

This is going to be another one of those fics no one reads, isn't it?

Title: Stating the Obvious (written for Week Seven /snarry_ldws on LJ)
Author: joanwilder (RaeWhit)
Pairing: Harry/Snape
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Word Count: 300
Genre/Cliché: Romance
Word: disfavor
Summary: Knowing the truth is important, but hearing the words, priceless.
A/N: ♥ to jadzialove for beta reading. I owe drabbles to [Unknown LJ tag] (who clearly has my M.O.), and lemondropseven for correctly guessing my entry! I'm working on 'em.

Stating the Obvious

I just thought you should all like to know that yesterday was a very, very important day for me.

One of the hallmarks of hypo-thyroidism is... puffy fingers or swollen hands. Because of this latest bought of adventure on the Thyroid Seas, I have not been able to wear my wedding band for about three years or so. In fact, I've been wearing my paternal grandmother's ring for about a year now, so that I didn't feel "unmarried." However, yesterday, on a whim, I picked up my wedding band and slipped it on and you can see the result here...



I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am!! And I'm still wearing it! The Husbandly One congratulated me and said that perhaps the current dosage of thyroid hormone is working for me. I think he may be right! We'll see if the endocrinologist agrees in two weeks!

*dances off, ridiculously happy*

Mood Swings: ecstatic

My toes are partially numb but I am in a ridiculously happy mood. Why? I went to see Poe Evermore at the PA Ren. Faire tonight.

I spent a half an hour silently shipping Irving/Longfellow. Longfellow blew a cork into Irving's ear. Mary Shelly had a mental fit. And Poe cracked jokes about his own stories, and gave us the run down of Pit and the Pendulum and The Fall of the House of Usher in under a minute.

He also insisted The Stylus would only involve happy, smiley poems.

Yeah. Yeah, it just was that kind of show.

Title: Lost and Held
Author: gatewaygirl
Characters: Sirius, Peter
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Castration, sex, cross-dressing, manipulation
Themes/kinks chosen: Eunuchs/Castrati, Costumes
Word Count: 5,317
Summary: An accident gives Sirius and Peter a shared secret
Author's notes: November prompts included the theme "eunuchs/castrati". It's listed in the tags as "castration", which would have been a rather different story. I have been as accurate as I could manage with the theme, but certainly do not guarantee all details are correct. ;-) Thanks to Clauclauclaudia for very short-notice beta work.


( Lost and Held )

...you know better than to go snooping around prompt communities.

*headdesk*

One Shots:
alisanne: Immovable Unspeakable meets Irresistible Hit Wizard - (Harry/Draco, Percy/Hermione (implied); NC-17)
torina_archelda: Healing - (Severus/Harry; PG-13)
leela_cat: There Had Been a Plan - (Severus/Harry; PG)
paukenfrau: One Dark and Stormy Evening - (Al/Scorpius; NC-17)
Anonymous in fall_fantasia: The Deluxe Tour - (Draco/Charlie; NC-17)

Works In Progress:
the_con_cept: It Sucks to be Severus Snape, Part 11 - (Severus/Harry; PG-13)

Drabbles:
alisanne: Seeing Stars - (Harry/Draco; PG)
ellid: Chasing the Wolf, X - (Severus/Remus; NR)
alisanne: New Game - (Remus/Severus; PG)
sweetmelodykiss: Subtle Communication - (Severus/Harry; R)
mailroomy: Friends and Allies - (Severus; PG-13)

Art:
didodikali: The Greater Goodzilla and the Doomed Gingerbread Castle of Doom - (Albus, Gellert; NC-17)

Community News:
snupin100: Posted a new prompt - 233 - The Games We Play

Newsletters:
quibbler_report: Posted a new issue - 5 November
dailysnitch: Posted an issue - 5 November
snapenews: Posted a new issue - 5/6 November

If you have any links or tips for us, please let us know. Email us at potterprophet.ij@gmail.com.

I have decided to start a temp agency. If you are looking for work or looking for prospective hires, you may want to check out this post over on LJ. :)

Thanks to the most diligent alicit, we all now have a Harvest sprite on our scroll! *smishes her* Please turn the eggs and pet the dragons if you wish. Mind the teeth.

Little Halo's scroll and hatchling:

Little Secret's scroll and hatchling:

My scroll and eggs: ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Bullet points!

• I finished the first draft of my long-overdue LLM fic for accioslash, the continuation of Thicker Than Water. Anyone want to beta? It's very very chan and mpreg (knocked-up 11yo Harry ftw).


• 2 out of 3 Mini-Commission spots got claimed, so unless the 3rd goes today, that'll be the only ones I offer for the holiday season.


• I've decided not to do Yuletide this year -- someone got my tiny fandom disqualified (if I'd known anyone would bother, I could have easily defended it, but since it didn't occur to me to check it's now too late), and I just don't have the heart to play after that.


• Which means I only have santas_lap to write this season, and that's it, since I'm also not doing nanowrimo. It hardly feels like the holiday at all!

Mood Swings: blah

qafmaniac is made of awesome!

Seriously. *points to header*

Her delicious header and tweaked coding to make it work properly.

*smooches qafmaniac*

I've got internet! I'd like to thank my new ISP SFR, who managed to give me internet access a whole 10 days before the estimated day, yay!

My new address is available in friends- or access-locked posts on DW, IJ, and LJ. If you want to send me a card and can't see any of these posts, let me know. Speaking of cards, have you signed up for your Holiday Card?

This entry was originally posted at http://snakeling.dreamwidth.org/156823.html [ comments]. You can reply there using OpenID.

A while back I pre-ordered the Blu-ray versions of the "Ultimate Edition" or whatever they're calling it of Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets. In the process of proving last night that the thing in the Fry's ad which showed a set of all five films on Blu-ray was not this edition, but just a boxed set of the films, I noticed that the "Ultimate Edition" is also available on DVD for about ten bucks cheaper.

I thought well, there must be something extra on the Blu-ray version, or maybe I didn't know I had a choice. I looked at both pages on Amazon, though, and aside from the fact that the Blu-ray crams both the theatrical and extended cuts on a single disc whereas that takes up two discs in the regular DVD version (3 discs and 4 discs total, respectively), I couldn't see any difference.

The television that is hooked up to our Blu-ray player (read: our PS3) is, um, kind of the opposite of HD, so while we can watch Blu-ray discs we don't get to see any of the actual benefit of buying in that format. So unless there's something different about the content, there's really no reason for me to pay the extra money.

Can someone reality check me here, and make sure there's not something I'm missing? Because if not, I think I'll cancel the Blu-ray order and go for DVD instead.

It may not shock you to learn that after six months of intense RPG action, the Askworld kids have kept in contact. Because we both work for nonprofit agencies, snaxcident and I tend to have the occasional "Hey, NFPs could use this!" moment, which I swear is all that I intended when I sent an innocent email...that prepared me for WORLD DOMINATION.

( Canadians fucking love webinars. )

Between this and getting metaquoted last night, my conquest of the internet continues apace.

from a recent post by Wil Wheaton:

I've been struggling lately to turn a lot of ideas I have into actual stories. I kind of feel like my writing mojo has taken a temporary leave of absence, and the harder I look for it, the harder it is to find. It has been incredibly frustrating.

This morning, in Warren Ellis' BAD SIGNAL e-mail, he said:

At least half of all writing involves just sitting and staring into space. Letting your brain out to hunt down ideas, bringing them back all warm and bloody between its teeth.

So, a lot of you asked for the recipe for/location of the peppermint-tea ice cream. WELCOME TO MY KITCHEN!

Basically all the ice cream I make comes from one recipe.

( Universal Ice Cream Custard Base )

On any asylum, you should always read their info first for rules and any regulations. :)
(Please note that all asylums listed below have been around for a good while; these are not new.)

graphix - A great graphics asylum that offers making and posting of many types of graphics.
NOTE: We currently are in need of active makers, please help!

ijelite - Another great graphics community that offers icons and all sorts of graphics.

christians - A place for Christians and non-Christians alike to discuss the Christian faith, prayer, and problems.
NOTE: Need active members; please join us!

iconism - An icon only asylum.
NOTE: Sister asylum of graphix.

hardball - Want to debate? This is the place to do it. Please read rules before posting/commenting.

addme - A place to find friends to add!

Mood Swings: creative

I don't often think meta thoughts on HP, but when I do they tend to not leave me alone until I share them. Funnily enough, this thought dawned on me as I was showering today. I'm also just as certain someone else thought of this long before I even knew what it was, but Tom Riddle has classic R.A.D. And it has flipped my view of him as a character upside down.

For those who don't know, R.A.D is Reactive Attachment Disorder and it is a diagnosable syndrome. R.A.D is often mistaken for ADHD or even ODD, but it differs in the fact that its onset is during infancy to year two. R.A.D is caused by a number of different things including lack of affection, touch, eye contact during infancy.

Is it hard to imagine that in a run down orphanage Tom was not held enough as a baby, or even touched enough. Remember all those incidents that Mrs. Cole said were strange and how no one wanted to really be near him?

Here is just a small list of noticeable traits children with R.A.D have:
1. Weak Crying
2. Extreme resistance to cuddling
3. No reciprocal smiles
4. Superficially engaging or charming
5. A strong need for control
6. Indiscriminately affectionate
7. Destruction of self, other people, or objects
8. Cruel to animals, friends, or siblings
9. Poor peer relations
10. Demanding
11. Steals and lies
12. No conscience
13. Poor impulse control
14. Preoccupation with blood, gore, other nasty things
15. Abnormal speech


As I said, I'm sure plenty of people have already thought of this, but it was pretty illuminating to me.

Thoughts?

Title: It Sucks to be Severus Snape, Part 11
Rating: This part PG-13 (overall fic NC-17 in places)
Disclaimer: Belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Warnings/Enticements: *EWE, WIP.*
Betas: Unbeta'd from here on out, 'cause I'd rather post than edit while I have momentum. I'm open to making edits though, and if anyone can keep up with me (ever day, sort of thing) I'm up for it.
Summary: Crazy initiations, people out to kill them, and really biting sarcasm--it's just another day in the life for Snape and Harry.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Title: Friends and Allies
Challenge: #306: Five Senses: Smell
Word Count: 5 x 100
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: None.
Summary: Remus makes a plan, finds replacement travel friend.

Title: It Sucks to be Severus Snape, Part 11
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Warnings/Enticements: *EWE, WIP.*
Betas: Unbeta'd from here on out, 'cause I'd rather post than edit while I have momentum. I'm open to making edits though, and if anyone can keep up with me (ever day, sort of thing) I'm up for it.
Summary: Crazy initiations, people out to kill them, and really biting sarcasm--it's just another day in the life for Snape and Harry.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
( Read more... )

Because I told eeyore9990 two days ago? yesterday? that I'd spam the heck out of my flist with word count updates, you all get to be subjected to a lovely screencap of my comp screen as visual proof!

*mad cackling*

I've changed my mind about updating every 100 words. Instead, you're getting this every 1000 words. Since I was still at 6000 words yesterday, I haven't had the opportunity to update until now.

Behold!

( WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS? )

Title: Subtle Communication
Author: sweetmelodykiss
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Word Count: 100
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
snarry100 Challenge #187: Methods of Communication

Subtle Communication

Title: New Game
Author: alisanne
Word Count: 100
Rating: PG
Challenge: Written for snupin100's prompt #233: The games we play
Characters: Remus/Severus
Beta: sevfan
Authors Notes: Excuse the silliness and special thanks to the slashchat girls for inspiring me. *g*
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( New Game )

Mood Swings: working

Title: Subtle Communication
Author: sweetmelodykiss
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: R
Warnings: None
Word Count: 100
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
snarry100 Challenge #187: Methods of Communication

( Subtle Communication )

As some of you know, yesterday included a trip to the vampires and some of the usual testing. So, yeah, that tires me out anyway. But then, one of my closest friends called upset and in tears.

Let me say, cancer sucks.

Five years ago, she had to have a hysterectomy because of cancer. This past summer she finally hit her 5-year clear mark. Then yesterday she found out she has breast cancer.

Talk about a slap in the face. *sighs*

So, anyway. My mood still sucks. I can hold onto pissiness like nobody else. But, for Michi, I'm trying to let it go and be upbeat and what have you. We'll see how that works out.

Thanks for the emails. I didn't respond to them all, as some of you told me not to and for once I listened. But they did mean a lot. So, yeah, thanks for that.

HEY GUYS

WE SURVIVED THURSDAY

And now I have freshly made peppermint-tea ice cream in the freezer, and fresh bread for gashouse eggs for dinner tonight.

And I'm hauling a bunch of stuff home from work so I get to take a taxi, and tomorrow I'm going to the Art Institute (!!) to see the exhibit of Caldecott book art and the Victorian photocollage and the freshly opened Apostles Of Beauty.

And it's member discount week, so I am going to treat myself to the fancypants restaurant instead of the cafeteria for lunch. I love the fancypants restaurant!

*MAKES RESERVATIONS LIKE A MOFO*

The master list for qaf_scavenger's Fall Contest is up. Lots of icons, headers, vids, and fic... even a few from me. ;)

Go read, look, watch and leave everyone some love!

The master list is up for the QAF Challenges weather/vacation challenge. So, yeah, I can claim my ficlet. *g*

Title: One More Dance
Written By: the_minx_17
Timeline: Early S2
Rating: G
Author's Notes: Thanks to leela_cat for the beta. Boys and all their baggage belong to Queer as Folk and are the property of Russell T. Davies, CowLip Productions, Tony Jonas Productions, Showtime Networks Inc. and others. No copyright infringement is intended. Written for the QAF Challenges weather/vacation challenge.

Title: Chasing the Wolf, X
Challenges: smell snape100, Ministry of Magic lupin100
Word Count: 100
Note: this continues the de-aged Snape plot begun a couple of weeks ago. He is now a teenager physically but still lacks most of his memories.



Lupin did not react immediately. Severus pressed closer, drinking in the scent of his shaving lotion. Images flashed through his brain: werewolf, man, boy, adult, teacher, lover -

"No. No!" Remus yanked free with a desperate shove. "You're a child! Stop it!"

"I'm not a child." Severus' voice was deeper now, his hair longer. He watched as Remus' eyes widened at the changes. "The more I'm with you, the closer I am to myself. You know I'm right."

"The Ministry lists you - "

"The Ministry can go hang." Severus touched his cheek. "Don't send me back."

"I - "


TBC…and yes, for those who have followed so patiently, the end is in sight. :D

Happy birthday, Hero Tiffin!

• Actors and Movies: New still of Rupert Grint from Wild Target and international distribution details
  
  New deals on DVDs of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  
  
• Communities: Words On The Wind is a new fanfiction awards site based on 'out-of-the-norm'/paranormal/supernatural fandoms, including Harry Potter
  
  3fan_holidays, a tri-fandom fest, has begun sign-ups
  
  
• Fandom: lupin_snape is looking for pinch-hitters for their Snupin Santa fest
  
  
• General Interest: New demo video for Harry Potter Wizarding World DVD game
  
  
• Hot Rec: Focus by Anonymous (Remus/Sirius; PG-13)
  
  Reasonable Adjustments by weasleywench (Harry/Draco, NC-17)
  
  In the Stream by musamihi (Harry/Draco, PG-13)
  
  
• News: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince site revamped
  
  
• Searches: daily_snitch is looking for fan-works and resources featuring Theodore Nott
  
  

I write fic. Ahem. Yes. Don't ask where this one came from. Long story. I blame hafren. :D

Mood Swings: creative

http://community.livejournal.com/snarryficfind/1424941.html

http://community.livejournal.com/snarryficfind/1424885.html

I am utterly disappointed in all of you. Well. All but thirteen of you!

Thirteen is a good number, but fifteen beats it. Why is that significant? Because fifteen of you voted to allow lilyseyes to beat me in my utterly fair and balanced poll.

But fear not, my brave thirteen! leela_cat wrote us a fic ANYWAY! Because we are obviously awesome. *nod nod*

Deathfic! Yay!!!

Go forth, ye fabulous ones, and read There Had Been a Plan.

Title: One Dark And Stormy Evening
Pairing: Al/Scorpius
Rating: NC-17 for language, graphic sex
Word Count: about 2,050
Summary: Al and Scorpius drink Polyjuice to look like their dads; hilarity and fucking ensue.
Warnings: They're both 17 and acting their age.  Does teenage stupidity need a warning? 
Disclosure Statement: two large bags of Chili Cheese Fritos and a nice bottle of Riesling were killed in the making of this fic. 
Notes and thanks: Happy belated birthday, Jana!  I tried to combine your present with this month's drunken fanfic challenge -- hence the title, stolen from the prompt -- but didn't get off my arse in time to post it there, so it morphed into something even stranger.  Hope you enjoy it.  :D

ETA: Jana got the bunny for this fic from bryoneybrynn 's hilarious work of staggering genius, Another...and Another...and, Fuck It, Just Leave Me the Bottle.  It's 1,200 words of sheer brilliance.

Title: Seeing Stars
Author: alisanne
Word Count: 100
Characters: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: PG
Challenge: Written for hd100's prompt: Autumn and, happily, it also works for hd_fluff's prompt: leaves. ;)
Author's Notes: Sexual content.
Beta: sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

( Seeing Stars )

Mood Swings: calm

Title: There Had Been a Plan
Author: Leela (leela_cat)
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: PG
Warnings/Enticements: Highlight to view: * Dark themes, character death *
Word Count: ~630
Beta: batdina
Summary: Ginny still hears Tom's voice in her head.
A/N: For eeyore9990, as a consolation prize for losing the jello wrestling poll.

Mood Swings: devious

Argh! Vampire fic is STUCK! I need a motivation for them to go where they're about to go. I mean, I know why *I* want them there--it moves the plot forward. But why do they want to be there? Dammit! I've got three scenes of disjointed, sparkling wit, too. I want to cram them together, but they obviously don't fit, like puzzle pieces missing a piece between.

Okay, so what powers does a vampire traditionally have? You've got the bloodsucking, possibly strength, ability to call on animals? Ability to turn into a bat, yeah. Anything else?

Once again, thanks to the most wonderful alicit we've got one more Harvest hatchie on our family scrolls. Pet the dragons and turn the eggs carefully! Thanks!

Little Halo's scroll and hatchling:

My scroll and eggs: ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Since the HD Career Fair is over, this is my repost of my fic. It's posted at DW because it's slightly too big for IJ.

Title: Immovable Unspeakable meets Irresistible Hit Wizard
Author: alisanne
Challenge: Written for the 2009 hd_career_fair.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Percy Weasley/Hermione Granger (implied), Blaise Zabini/Luna Lovegood (implied)
Summary: Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are just average, ordinary wizards working in dull positions at the Ministry and leading average, ordinary lives. Or, at least, that's what they'd like everyone -- including each other -- to believe.
Warnings: AU
Word Count: ~10,800
Author's Notes: Inspired by an irresistible prompt from orpheus_samhain, who requested Draco as a MoM appointed hitman, very sikrit, Minister wouldn't like the public to know that from time to time he orders a murder; Harry is an Unspeakable. Somehow their paths cross during one of Draco's assignments, that so happens to be one of Harry's, only he's expected to achieve the opposite effect. If they know each other outside their work is a bonus. Requested additions: a knife, hood, night, champagne. Orpheus, I hope this is what you imagined.
Thank you to the hd_career_fair mods for hosting this fest and to eeyore9990 and sevfan, without whom this story would have made much less sense.
Recognizable content belongs to JKR, with some plot elements borrowed from the hilarious movie, Mr and Mrs Smith.

Immovable Unspeakable meets Irresistible Hit Wizard

Mood Swings: calm